Cork's 2010 NFL Mock Draft

Updated: 11 April 2010

I Mock, Therefore I Am (Part Deux) By John Corcoran

(Final Revise, I Think)

(This is pretty much the same Mockable Mock Draft as Part Uno. However, I realize I went out for a couple of Cool Ones before making my choice for the Philadelphia Eagles. Yes, I was drunk when I thought they'd take Tim Tebow. So Timmy, his Biblical Eye Black and his Orchestra have been shoved back into the second round. Read below for the new pick.)

I’ve my due diligence and still haven’t got a sure handle on who’ll draft whom this year. But I’ll try my best because NFL Draftdog has it second annual contest among its team writers. Still, this year is brutal. Dunno what’s to blame--the uncapped season, disinformation by teams and agents, overall paranoia, global warming, or perhaps the fact many GMs are clueless too.

So are some players. Said Redskin tight end Chris Cooley, quoted by Rick Maese of the Washington Post. "As far as the draft goes, I'm out in the dark," Cooley said. "My knowledge is about as much as the fans.”

Since my motto is “The Mocks are Always wrong,” I have nothing to lose here but my pride. Before I start, let me paraphrase David Letterman: “Remember this Mock is for entertainment purposes only. Please, no wagering.

1. LA Rams: Sam Bradford QB Oklahoma: Sam should write a nice note to Mark Sanchez and whoever choreographed his recent workout. Sanchez caused GMs to think rookies can automatically make the playoffs, and his workout choreographer helped make Bradford the closest dead lock cinch this year.

2. Detroit Lions: Russell Okung, OT Oklahoma State: Most mocks have the Lions taking Ndamukong Suh here. The Suh kid’s a monster, will be All-Pro for ten years, but, hey, it’s the Lions! For that reason and because I can’t win our Mock Draft Contest agreeing with the popular consensus, I’ve convinced myself Detroit wants to protect their franchise QB for the next ten years. They grab the top rated Left Tackle.

3. Tampa Bay: Ndamukong Suh, DT, Nebraska: Everyone thinks Detroit will take him, and the Bucs had all but selected China patterns with Gerald McCoy, but they leave him at the altar for this force of nature.

4. Washington Redskins: Gerald McCoy, DT Oklahoma: As I’m the Redskin columnist here, I should have some insight. I don’t. Shanahan and Bruce Allen make Joseph Stalin look like Blabby Blabberton. A few weeks ago, the popular wisdom (i.e. tealeaf reading) was they’d take Bradford (if he slipped) or Jimmy Clausen of Notre Dame to be their next franchise (heh heh heh) quarterback. Then the ‘skins traded for Donovan McNabb, and most smart guys now say the ‘skins will land Okung, or if he’s not there, Brian Baluga, the tackle from Iowa. I’m one dumb guy who believes Shanahan will cut off his nose tackle to spite his face. Albert “I Hate Playing Nose Tackle” Haynesworth will be gone by draft day, and the ‘skins must find his replacement. Enter McCoy. Yeah, I don’t buy it, either, but I’m trying to win a contest here, so I gotta take chances.

5. Kansas City Chiefs: Eric Berry Safety Tennessee: They have more needs than a pubescent teenager. They could pick an offensive tackle, but the Ed Reed’s and Troy Palomalu’s of the world have raised the value of game changing safeties.

6. Seattle Seahawks: Brian Bulaga, tackle Iowa: I’ve followed Pete Caroll’s exploits at USC where the Trojans have been loaded at every position. Not so easy in the pros. Pete likes a running game and a world-class passer, and what makes both those things possible? Yup, good offensive linemen.

7. Cleveland Browns: Jimmy Clausen, QB Notre Dame: No, this is not a rerun, and no, this time the ND QB they want won’t be available for the Browns to take with their second selection. Or it’s entirely possible I’ve gotten every pick wrong so far, which qualifies me to be a draft expert at most major sports magazines.

8. Oakland Raiders: Bruce Campbell, OT Maryland: Oakland’s pick depends on whether Al Davis took his proper meds the day of the draft. It’s still possible he may select a shortstop, but I believe Al will overmedicate and choose the prettiest specimen from the Combine, just like last year. In 2010 it’s a physical freak who may or may not have any game.

9. Buffalo Bills: Trent Williams Tackle, Oklahoma: The Bills are sorry to see Clausen gone, but since they don’t have a left tackle to protect any QB, they take Williams, continuing the run on offensive linemen.

10. Jacksonville Jaguars: Dez Bryant WR, Deion Sanders All-Stars: Jags need someone to rush the passer, but they need a home run threat even more. Bryant, who was suspended by the NCAA for yakking with Deion Sanders, is tanned, rested and ready.

11. Denver Broncos: Rolando McClain LB Alabama: Jacksonville’s pick of Bryant ticks off Denver, who wanted him to replace bad boy Brandon Marshall. It will also tick off the New York Giants and the Miami Dolphins who both covet McClain.

12. Miami Dolphin: Dan Williams, DT, Tennessee: Bill Parcells likes Big Uglies, and in Williams he has a 330-pound hoss who could play nose tackle or defensive end.

13. San Francisco: Ryan Mathews, RB, Fresno State. The Great State of California is nearly bankrupt, so the 49ers save a couple of bucks by selecting a running back who can hop a Southwest flight up the coast, and not even be charged for checked baggage. Also Frank Gore needs backup, and word is this kid can play.

14. Seattle Seahawks: (from Denver) C.J. Spiller, RB Clemson: Remember what I said about Pete Carroll? Likes running backs? Yeah, this guy is a real good running back. Fast, too. A return guy to boot.

15. New York Giants: Sean Weatherspoon, LB Missouri: One of the toughest calls of all. Giants need strength up the middle and might go for Brian Price, the UCLA defensive tackle. But man, they gotta replace Antonio Pierce at MLB. Oh, that guy you see on TV, squirming uncomfortably in the green room? Joe Haden.

16. Tennessee Titans: Demaryius Thomas, WR, George Tech: Stay seated, Joe, the Titans, delighted with Vince Young’s breakthrough season, and with rookie Kenny Britt at one receiver, make life even better for Vince by taking a talented and large WR who averaged 25 yards a catch last year.

17. San Francisco 49ers: Anthony Davis Tackle, Rutgers: There have been questions about his maturity and he’s not really quick enough for left tackle, but Mike Singletary will have a word with him about how to behave, and move him inside, where he’ll be the perfect roadgrader.

18. Pittsburgh Steelers: Joe Haden, CB, Florida: Come on down, Joe! Somehow Pittsburgh manages to get the right man every year, despite picking lower down in the draft. They are temped to take an Olineman like Iupatti, but he’s a holding machine and Haden falls into their happy laps.

19. Atlanta Falcons: Jason Pierre-Paul Defensive End, South Florida: The stars are aligned right for Atlanta, as they also get their man, the pass rusher they need.

20. Houston Texans: Brian Price Defensive Tackle, UCLA: Of course by now some inconsiderate front office has gone and traded down and screwed up everybody’s mock, so we might as well be hurling darts instead of over thinking out choices. Still Price’s stock has risen, I’ve seen him play this year and he’s a keeper.

21. Cincinnati Bengals: Golden Tate, WR Notre Dame. Whiny Chad Ochocinco has been begging the Bengals to pick up TO. Instead he gets this rising young star. It’s a little like asking to date Joan Rivers and getting Brooklyn Decker instead.

22. New England Patriots: Brandon Graham, linebacker Michigan: The trouble with the 3-4 defense is you have to keep feeding it linebackers. In this case, the Patriots, as they usually do, choose wisely, taking this Wolverine blue chipper.

23. Green Bay Packers: Roger Safford Tackle, Indiana: The Packers tackles are aging and they get a guy who’ll learn and start in a year or two. They could go RB, but with the run on offensive lineman, they go this way and hope someone is there next time up.

24. Philadelphia Eagles: Devin McCourty, CB, Rutgers: The only update here in party Deux, we now think Philly will go CB, which give them a third CB next year and a starter in the future. The biggest plus is McCourty is a top notch KO returner who can team up with DeSean Jackson, giving them a double threat.

25. Baltimore Ravens: Rob Gronkowski, TE Arizona: He missed last year with an injury, but can run patterns and can catch, and at 6’6” 265 will be a decent blocker in the NFL. Joe Flacco is a happy man.

26. Arizona Cardinals: Sergio Kindle LB Texas: The Cardinals need linebackers. Kindle is a linebacker. See how it works? Mocks ain’t that hard.

27. Dallas Cowboys: Maurkice Pouncey, C, Florida: Sure, the ‘pokes need to replace left tackle Hotel Adams, but they’re thin on the inside, and Pouncey can play all three positions.

28. San Diego Chargers: Jonathan Dwyer, RB, Georgia Tech: The Chargers offed LaDainian Tomlinson, and need some fresh blood at running back. This guy could be it.

29. New York Jets: Brandon Spikes Linebacker, Florida: Another 3-4 defense in need of feeding the linebacker machine. They were desperate enough to bring in Jason “I Hate New York” Taylor for a two-day look-see.

30. Minnesota Vikings: Taylor Mays Safety, USC: They like ‘em big ‘round these parts, and Mays is a huge safety. He needs work, but could be a major force if he’s a quick learner.

31. Indianapolis Colts: Mike Iupati, Guard, Idaho: Got to keep the Franchise’s uniform clean. While they’ll try to cure this serial holding penalty machine on cleats, of his grabby hands Peyton has a quick enough release that it may not matter so much.

32. New Orleans Saints: Derrick Morgan, DE Georgia Tech: First of all apologies to all players who I didn’t Mock in the first round and who believe you deserve to be there. I hope all 200-300 of you don’t have your feelings hurt. Things are going swell for the Saints, as a need player with great upside is there for them.

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